Corlischa is a woman who, in every season of life, presses in close and seeks to know the Lord with passion and fervor. She’s also honest about where she is struggling and invites the same kind of honesty in return. I’ve been pushed closer to Jesus by her willingness to challenge and encourage and seek the Lord alongside of me. I hope that her honesty below invites your own transparency with the Lord and with others in whatever season you find yourself.
I have two confessions before we get going: 1) I’ve been so encouraged and challenged by all the different stories and seasons represented by this blog series. 2) This left me wondering if there is anything I can share from my season that won’t seem too repetitive… So my hope is that this will remind all of us that no matter what season we are in, we can find Jesus in the middle of the crazy busy (whatever our busy looks like).
I’ve been trying to come up with a description of my season. I’ve followed along this series and could definitely relate with many of the previous descriptions and stories. There isn’t really a lot of “mountain tops” or “valleys”, there isn’t a lot of quiet moments, neither many moments of being by myself. It has just been a whole lot of life. Juggling. Being intentional in the mundane moments or in conversations with whomever I come across, but there is something I’m learning to embrace in a season that feels defined by the mundane routines and that is to remain in Him.
Although my time with Jesus has never looked exactly the same through every changing season, I’ve always loved the fact that I could have set time aside and be quiet with Him. Just me and Him. As I have been transitioning into the role of being a mom, my biggest challenge over the past year has been to realize what abiding in Jesus looks like when you have a little person who is mostly with you. I’ve tried waking ridiculously early in the morning only to find her already awake on those mornings, I’ve tried adapting to spending time with Jesus late at night when she is already asleep, but only to find myself falling asleep. Finally I asked the Lord for guidance in how to guard and protect any time I could make for just me and Him. (I don’t know why I didn’t do it earlier). My time with Him looks so much different. It’s so much more free, because I’ve invited Him into finding an answer for how to do it in this season. He started showing me that remaining in Him isn’t giving me a to-do list or a bible study I need to finish daily, it’s an invitation to know My Lord in this season. And there is no better way than reading His Word. And talking to Him in the midst of having my baby at my feet or on my lap.
The other day I got to ask a much wiser women whom I love and respect so much how she guarded her time with Jesus when her kids were toddlers. She looked me in the eye and said, you’ve got to do anything it takes. But be creative. That was freeing. To do an in-depth Bible Study and finishing it in the prescribed number of weeks will not necessarily be feasible in this season, but adding memory verses in my home, above my desk, in my car and at the dishwasher is something practical that I can cling to. And that is what helps me to abide in Him. Praying out loud when I’m in the car, changing a diaper or cleaning my house grows my communion with Him.
I’m realizing that every season increases our capacity to do life and with that it also increases the number of things we have to get done. When I look at friends with three times more kids than me or friends who are in a season of living by themselves I am noticing that all of us will be able to attest that life is crazy busy in whatever season we are in. So waiting for life to slow down so we can spend time with Jesus or plant His Word in our hearts might just not happen. I’m learning that remaining in Him looks like finding Jesus in the midst of the crazy and training my mind and heart to love Him above all else. It includes training myself to wait on Him, to know Him and discern His voice with the crazy still going on around me. I’ve discovered that in a season where I’m adjusting and fighting for a steady schedule, He is becoming so much clearer because my focus is intentionally turned to Him in the mundane “small” moments of life. And there is something in me that wants to believe that one day we’ll realize that these small moments where we feel close to our God were actually part of the big eternal moments, because we were planted in Him and remained in Him. And I’m praying that that is the fruit we will bear.
“Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.” (John 15:4)
by corlischa badenhorst
This post is part of the Summer of Seasons that Darcee and I are hosting. Our hope is that as others share about seeking God in their particular season of life, we would all be encouraged to know and love and seek after the Lord more in our daily lives.