A Woman Seeking to Know Her God in a Season of Releasing Control
This season of Meredyth's life displays her boldness and courage. She has stepped out of her comfort zone and into the unknown, seeking to better know and serve her Lord. I love that she describes it as a season of letting go of control...because regardless of our unique circumstance, who of us can't relate to that? I hope you will enjoy her reflection below and that it will encourage each of us to release the control we try to cling to.
The season that I am in currently is one that has been marked by significant change. In the span of about eight months I have moved into my own apartment, quit my full time job of five years, traveled to about 6 different states, started my own business, celebrated with my friends of some very great milestones and grieved with other friends during very deep and significant loss. To say that this year has given me a lot of opportunities for adaptation and clinging to false comforts would be an understatement. I have been tempted on more than one occasion to rely on myself to control my situations and move forward in my own strength, but it has been there where the Lord has met me. In the stillness of releasing control and watching the Lord be my King.
When our lives feel upside down it is easy to want to cling to something familiar or to someone with skin on. It’s easy to think we can handle whatever it is that life is tossing our way and it’s easy to try and make choices to sooth our circumstances or to satisfy our own curiosities. One of the greatest things the Lord has reminded me of this summer is that He is my King and He is the best King for me. What I mean by this is a direct parallel to the story in 1 Samuel when the Israelites were being defeated by other nations and demanded of Samuel to appoint them a King that looked like all the other nations (1 Samuel 7-8). The Israelites weren’t trusting that God was their best and they begged Samuel to give them someone they could see that lead like all the kings of other nations. God warned the Israelites through Samuel that they could have a King, but it wasn’t God’s best because they were God’s chosen people. God’s best was Himself, and outside of Him there would be great consequences. The Israelites didn’t really care that God was their best King, they just wanted immediate, tangible relief. So, God gave them what they wanted and appointed them King Saul. And then we know the rest of the story isn’t a fairy tale. For more about this story read 1 + 2 Samuel.
My favorite takeaway from God’s message to me through the Israelites was His constant kindness even in their desperation for a way out. God promises Himself to us as His best but also, when necessary He hands us over to our fleshly desires, but never without consequence. God remains faithful and kind and it’s crucial to remember that when we do allow Him to be our King, especially in times of desperation, His best will prevail and our healing will expand.
I share this story because this is how the Lord quietly brought be back to Himself after about two months of floundering earlier this year. It was like something hit me between the eyes and I needed to commit my days to Him no matter what. I love waking up with the sun, a pot of coffee and God’s word and it has been refreshing to see how the Lord draws me nearer and nearer to Himself each day just by making the commitment to learn about Him, and seek Him first.
My new favorite way to study scripture has been through inductive study. If you’re unfamiliar with it, I would highly suggest looking into it – or feel free to reach out with any questions. I learned about it this year through the @journeywomanpodcast (you have to look her up)! It is basically a style of studying that forces you to slow down by the way you mark your pages in your bible. Let’s just say it requires wide margins (not for journaling), lots of colored pens and big cups of coffee. Because once you start, you will NOT want to stop! (so of course that means refilling your coffee mug a few times.) I have been doing this for about a month and a half now and I seriously look forward to this every single night as I get ready to go to bed. It has been such an instrumental way for me to get in the word and not want to get up from the table. Sometimes it takes a little while to figure out what works for you, and sometimes studying looks different in different seasons. I find myself learning in different ways all the time so I have just resolved to adapt with my current life season and go with it. Studying how I can, when I can and where I can. Making this commitment has altered my every day and has reminded me of why I allow God to be my king instead of something I can control. He is faithful, and it is deeply rewarding to give God the reigns.
I love that even in the moments where I have chosen fleshly kings this year, the Lord has met me there. He is so kind and patient to walk with me in those places of confusion and despair. His word promises that He will never let us go and through a year of exponential change I have gained a deeper understanding of God’s love for me and the “why” behind making the daily decision to commit myself to Him through studying His word. He is truly worth it.
by meredyth cann
This post is part of the Summer of Seasons that Darcee and I are hosting. Our hope is that as others share about seeking God in their particular season of life, we would all be encouraged to know and love and seek after the Lord more in our daily lives.